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"No one can take away the dances you've already had". Every moment we experienced all of them, are embellished on our hearts. All the stay with us, like our DNA, like the imprint of the kimono left indelibly on the resident of , the blast made the imprint permanent upon her skin. That explosion became a part of her. Our explosion will always be a part of us. I wanted my soul to be married to your soul not name to name not property to property one soul clinging to another like letting go is death because it is even if the body lives drives away picks up dry cleaning goes to work goes to dinner all these actions continue when i leave you it's like you turned of the light switch to everything the things still exist it's not some tragedy there is no earth quake no storm life goes on as they say the sun comes up every morning but everything looks so bland funny. there were never any choices the most unnatural thing happened so naturally it wasn't what i wanted it wasn't what you wanted unless action is truly an indicator of desire we pick things up and put them down we walk away looking forward holding hands looking back wonder i wonder the periods of wondering gets smaller and the feeling of just existing is growing Just being in the world around me more this summer has been idyllic. like a postcard and you it's kind of beautiful how i don't know you a you look at over and over with a magnifying glass different angles, zoom. imagine looking so intensely i can no longer see I'm left befuddled guesses bloom and get tossed aside for lack of evidence did he feel for me? Yes. But what did he actually say? Oh. What did he actually do? oh :(. if actions speak louder than words I'm sunk One time i felt all the way i felt everything and I held nothing back the immediacy the necessity the desperation of this feeling this need so many days so many years a thousand declarations of intense crazy love feeling desire i sent you like the sentry i think of you as, are utterly silent you look acknowledge if i am lucky but say nothing while i feel you burn i that up as imagination though my heart protest i labeled things as fact or fiction feeling went into the fiction pile actions and words went into fact when i do that our history is so poor not a novella but an amateur porn so i say to myself he left me he left me he left me to give myself some structure some direction to understand what happened i'd die if i could have had you and didn't act but i know you never offered yourself to me you were as open as a house boarded up for a hurricane love is not love (which alters when it's alteration finds or bends with a remover to remove- this means love either is or isn't it doesn't change if it stops it never was if you can cut not talk to me never choose me this never was) right? as an aside i think i should something for longest run on in a parenthesis ever... also, since I am never going to send this crazy letter, i'm going to top it off with every non sequitor thought I've ever thought of you I love your name like your last name this is not a creepy girl " i write his name on my books" kind of comment as a lover of books, well of literature, i love it, it fits into a story so well (omission due to identifying details) blerg found on the ground some dirty south street it fell there i picked it up and forgot myself 10 drinks 4 hands one pulling one towards a heart, no. a breast at the time 3 days to wait it out the things that you find on a street it fell back on the ground again
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